Breastfeeding class surprise

Today I am 31 weeks' pregnant, and Music Man and I "celebrated" by attending a breastfeeding class.  Having twins complicates the whole breastfeeding-with-just-one-breast thing, and I have mostly made my peace with the fact that I'll be supplementing formula with breast milk rather than the other way around.  Sacrificing my dream of exclusively breastfeeding is such a small price to pay for being cancer-free and having surprise twins!  (Do I sound like believe that?  Good.  I'm maybe 85% of the way there, and that's okay.  It's okay to mourn old dreams so that you can move on and welcome new ones)

We need these!  From Nestingproject

Crammed in a doctor's office lobby, we learned all about hind milk and football holds and monitoring wet diapers, when the conversation turned to breast care.  The instructor says, "while breastfeeding you may develop a hard lump in your breast.  It may become red and tender to the touch.  What should you do if this happens?"

My entire body tensed.  Tears stung my eyes.  Hold it together, people are going to think you're having some weird hormonal breakdown.  Wait, am I having a weird hormonal breakdown?

I should add Friday will be one year since I was diagnosed with DCIS.

Turns out the instructor was describing a clogged milk duct and mastitis.  While I was busy biting my lip and trying to not let tears spill over, I did learn that you can still breastfeed if you have mastitis - not saying you want to, but it's possible.  That's good for a one-breasted gal since there's not a back up breast.

I'm going to go ahead and call it now: I will flip my shit if I find a hard, tender breast lump!  I've said it before, but dealing with pregnancy's breast changes when you've already had breast cancer is harrowing enough.  If I freaking find a lump.........well, I don't know what I'd do, but I don't think I'd be calm about it.  It wasn't supposed to be cancer last time either. Fortunately I have a lot of support, and both my medical oncologist and my OB/GYN have said I can come by anytime if I find anything unusual with my breast and get it checked out.  And when I see my surgical oncologist in a few weeks, I'm sure he'll say the same thing.

So, heads up - if you're pregnant after breast cancer, the breastfeeding class is full of small triggers, and one big one!